Part One: Concepts

If Life Was A Book Then, Even My Death Would Be beautiful

            Just like a book, life starts with a beginning. As the infant cries their eyes out for the first time after being pushed out from its mother’s womb, the journey begins as it matures. Everything that will happen shall be written on the blank white piece of paper, all of my success and glory, all of the fails and moments where I have been rock bottom in my short life. People would never know how good my book will be until it’s finished, there’d be many plot twists, many scenarios where I start to delve deep into the dark abyss of my own thoughts at random places. Sometimes it does be like that, for no good reason my thoughts just wander off somewhere at 3am in the morning when I’m going to face my finals. 

            If there would be someone who could read minds, then I would be their biggest case…. or their simplest case ever. Sometimes I wonder if I overcomplicate some things and make little stuff explode into a big theory while squirreling in the hard parts while only trying to solve the errors with the limited knowledge that I know. Sometimes I keep these thoughts to myself or do some outsourcing and ask my close friends that are always open these new odd ideas that I get time by time, sometimes I ask my besties, after that maybe I’ll ask the bois, sometimes I’ll ask my girlfriend, sometimes I’d ask my parents. 

            I was always a person like this, wondering why I do this and that, to simply search for a deep thought out reason with its answer not just a surface level answer. People do sometimes say that I think too much and I’m just too complicated, which startles me because aren’t people supposed to be like me? As a kid we are basically hardwired to ask questions, why are the skies blue? Why do babies cry when they are born? Why does the moon follow me and vanishes when the sun rises? Why does this man attached to my feet follow me every single time? But disappears when I go to a dark place? 

            To think that one’s life is like a book gives it more meaning and even more motivation to not cut it short. The way of me viewing my life as an autobiography may be a way for me forcing myself to live to the fullest. I really want this book to be a unique that is lowkey interesting and makes people want to dive deep into it. For an example, suicide which was once on my mind has will become a sudden ending which would leave a bitter taste to the person reading my book. My character development would include all of my ups and downs, conflict appearing every so often internally or externally. 

Why Is It Beautiful?

            To this point of the article well, I realised that I haven’t directly explained the meaning of my beautiful death. Well to be frank, I do think that life is a struggle, it’s a hassle to go through and do. People have to become their best versions that they can achieve by using the utmost that they can around them. Maybe if I were gone it would be more peaceful for me to know that its finally time to end the journey. Speaking of living to the fullest by using just the things around them, it raises the question.

            Do people with harsher backgrounds become more successful by nature when given the chance than people who had the better one? There is a saying that the rougher the ocean, its tides were, and its condition the better pirate/sailor it will make. But what if it’s just too hard? Wouldn’t they just become food for the fishes and be used for the sake of the water ecology? From this saying I learnt that in order to produce people with high qualities, there will be a demand of a lot of sacrifice. Only the strong will remain, the weak will be finished by natures selection and will either become food for the fishes or stay at home traumatized.

            But after giving it some more thought into it, I had the idea that not everybody has to go through the stormy seas as if it’s the only way or it’s like a competition. I propose the idea that not everybody needs to finish it completely, people who are wise enough would go out there and go back home improved and ready to head to the seas another day. Some will realize that maybe the path that is suitable is not through the harsh terrains of the sea. Maybe they were better at the rough terrains of the mountains or woods, which would make them a better adventurer that covers the land. Becoming unique in their own way, going through unique hardships that are suitable for them, having their own timeline and pace would be the best way to make the most out of the people. 

Speaking of Uniqueness...

            Uniqueness is somewhat easy, but hard. For me there were multiple moments where I was unique in my music taste for an example, little did I knew that many people had similarities with me. When I singled out an aspect that I had and compared it, many were actually common in the community. Such news made me feel less appealing, and made me feel like a normal person in the crowd with nothing special at all. Little did I know that what makes people unique are their whole trait.

            If I were told to choose upon what body part could fully represents me, a single body part wouldn’t be enough to distinguish it apart towards another people’s body. Even if it were a trait, a single trait alone without context or how it effects the other part of the personality wouldn’t cut the chase to be called unique. But! When seen as a whole the uniqueness of a single trait can be seen quite clearly. 

            If I were just timid, then it would be common amongst the crowd. But if the trait only appears when I’m around preschool kids, then it would be really unique! Maybe you were unique after all not because your physical looks, but what’s inside truly makes you a unique individual. If you want to feel special, then think about some concepts or situations where you become truly unique. The world can change little by little based on your paradigm or how you see things and how you give it meaning.

           I do think too much, and sometimes I’m happy with that, it gives me a sense of purpose what to do, it becomes something to feed my boredom and becomes a practice of my mind. So, I wonder... wouldn’t other people who are from different places from all around the world think differently than I do? I’m a simple guy from Indonesia named Lintang, nice to meet you and what’s your opinion on my thoughts?